Denise Bidot opens up about her journey to find love again

Denise Bidot is looking for love. The model and body positivity advocate with Puerto Rican and Kuwaiti heritage has made headlines in the past with her high-profile relationship with Lil Wayne. But after the relationship ran its course, she took some time to focus on self-care and figuring out her needs and wants in her next relationship. She also decided how she wanted to enter the dating market, utilizing dating apps, like Chispa, designed specifically for Latinx singles. HOLA! USA had the opportunity to talk to Bidot about what she’s looking for, her ideal first date, and more in this exclusive interview.

So you are in the market of love. Tell me a little about your journey.

Well, honestly, I think most of my followers and people who have followed my career for a very long time have known that I’ve kind of been that independent single mom, with no need or no time for love. And I think what life showed me during the pandemic was that prioritizing love is a form of self-care. It’s a form of allowing yourself vulnerability, allowing yourself unity, and companionship. And I think that those are things that I just never thought were priorities for me. And then the world stopped, and I was like, ‘Oh my God, companionship, wait, love.’ And it’s so wild kind of how that happened. So then I found out about Chispa, and first of all, I feel like the community aspect of Chispa is appealing as a whole, but I think as a single woman, I finally started to value the thought of dating a Latino man. And what kind of things culturally come with that, that I’ve maybe been missing or that I would love to see where that goes or how fun that could be. Just speaking Spanish with someone seems like the most refreshing thing on the planet. So I’m really happy that come 2023, we can explore all options. And thanks to the dating app world and thanks to Chispa, I’ve had an opportunity to explore that a little bit further and have fun, and I’m really happy to be partnering with them on this.

You don’t have to give names, but tell me about the last person you swiped yes on Chispa. What kind of things are you looking for? What stood out?

See, what’s funny, one of the last people I thought was really cool split their time between Puerto Rico and LA. They worked in production, and a lot of the pictures on their profile were really laid back and chill. And it wasn’t this presumptuous or pretentious kind of boy that’s half naked. I guess there’s a cheesy thing that we all know, right? The guy’s posting the gym pic or dog pics or with the friend’s child. And I think I’d gotten so used to seeing that so when I started seeing different imagery, it was awesome.

I think deciding to start dating, you have to be in the right space. We always hear, “You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” When did you know that it was time to get back out on the market?

Not that long ago, if I’m being honest. But it’s true. It’s everything you said. I think that what I thought was so cool about this is that it is self-care first, right? We’ve heard it a million times, ‘You can’t allow someone to love you without you loving yourself and knowing your self-worth.’ If you don’t figure out all of those factors, you don’t know how to move forward in the relationship space. And like I said, I was single for over 10 years, so I was literally the bachelorette of my group. And then I got into a relationship, and I’ve had a few relationships in my life, but I don’t know that I was ever the relationship type of girl. So I think when the world stopped and I realized that I liked cooking and I liked gardening, that I really enjoyed just sitting by the beach, those things all started coming to me. I was like, ‘Okay, I’d like to enjoy those with someone.’ But I had to know who I was first before branching out there into the dating world. I think just recently have I settled in and rebalanced what that looks like with work now. Because it was cute when it was COVID, and you’re all single, and there’s nothing to do. But then you have to really find that balance with work and dating and figuring out how to do that in a healthy way. So that’s kind of where I’m at.

I love it. And you obviously had a very high-profile relationship. How do you deal with headlines and rumors, and stories? It seems like it would be a lot.

I don’t get very much of that. I’m just a simple girl. As I said, I really like cooking, being by the beach, and hanging out with my 15-year-old. None of who I am has ever changed in the entire course of my life. So I think it’s really just knowing who you are, standing firm in that, and just continuing your mission and your journey and knowing that life is awesome and regardless of the world, I got so much of that. Even my career- my whole career, I’ve been standing for something, and there’s always going to be people with opinions. You just can’t let them get to you.

So you have a daughter, she’s 15. That’s like a solid age. She can really give you some advice when it comes to love. Do you think that you’ll be incorporating or getting her feel on things?

Oh my gosh. She is my best friend and I’ve been a single mother most of her life. So I think that she’s always kind of seen me go through the motions of working hard and building a platform that was unbreakable and doing kind of all these wild things that most people wouldn’t think are realistic or possible. So when I talk to her about love, I want to still be super transparent and clear with her. And so trust me, we talk about everything. We chat about her heartbreaks, my heartbreaks, working through them, healing, growing, and everything that comes with it. And trust me, these kids are smart, it’s beyond me. But I do love that the world has given me a little mini-me to always be able to both feed off of each other and grow together.

If you had a pen and paper and you were writing down the things that you want in your next partner, you’re manifesting, what would it be?

I think family values are really important. It would have to be someone close to their family- whether with their parents or grandparents or siblings or whatever. I would love someone that whether Spanish is something that’s a cultural thing for them or something that they’ve learned after, someone that can dive into my roots with me. I think that would be really fun. And third - I’m going to put this out into the world just because I would love for my next man to cook. Whether it’s just home cooking, you’ve got Abuela’s recipes, or he’s like a chef. Because I love food. I didn’t get to be a curvy girl without having this genuine love for food and our food, oh my god, my favorite. So that would be really awesome to find.

I feel you. And what do you think you offer in a relationship?

I’m a very loyal person. I think that I love really hard, and when I’m in a relationship, I give my all to a person, like I said, whether that be in time or energy or just support. I think those things I’ve learned in my adult life are really important. It’s so cute to have all these appearances or material things, but I think when you look at the future or what I can offer long term, it’s loyalty, companionship, honesty, and lots and lots of love and passion.

We love a loyal queen. And then, let’s see. This is so cheesy, but ideal first date.

Ooh, gosh, it can go so many ways on first dates. I know I’m super corny, but my ideal first day would genuinely be hanging out at the beach and watching the sunset. Cheesy as hell. But sometimes simplicity is key because again, I would hate to be at the movies with someone, and you can’t talk or vibe or get a feel for them. I think sometimes their thought is, ‘Let’s go to a restaurant.’ But that’s also kind of noisy and a little bit not as personal as I would like. I think when you just get to break it all down, conversations are so key to building something real with someone that wherever we can hang out and look at something beautiful and chat, that sounds cool.

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